• Daniel Hodgson

The Were Family Of Wolftown Learn About Strangers

The following is a story from the book "The Were Family Of Wolftown a children's book unsuitable for children" by Daniel Hodgson and illustrated by Anthony Noble.




Brother Were got a brand new bike for his birthday and he can't wait to ride it to school. He is going to show it to all of his friends.


After a healthy breakfast of scrambled eyeballs and brains, Brother Were slips on his elbow pads, then straps on his bright blue bicycle helmet and hops onto his new bike.


Brother Were rides past his bus stop on one wheel, showing off to his friends who howl and cheer.


Be careful Brother Were.


Brother Were rides faster and faster doing jumps and flips off of the curb causing Werewolves on their way to work to hit their brakes.


Look out Brother Were, you don't want your brains splattered all across the road, it would

make your parents sad enough to contemplate suicide.


Brother Were locks his bike to the rack when he gets to school. It's better to be safe than sorry. Brother Were spends all day thinking about his bike and has a hard time concentrating on his school work. He tells his friends about all the jumps he took his bike off of on the way to school and that they should ride their bikes with him tomorrow.


On the bike ride home Brother Were makes a bad decision. He takes an unknown short cut.


That's dangerous Brother Were.


Looking for jumps to show his friends tomorrow, Brother Were turns down a dark alley. He is cautious as he peddles his new favourite thing.


"Hey little pup, what are you doing down here?" a large greying Werewolf stands up from behind a pile of trash and opens his big brown trench coat, showing Brother Were his private parts.


"Yikes," Brother Were screams and rides past the pervert as he grabs towards Brother Were's butt.



Brother Were rides his bike faster than he ever has all the way home to the haunted house at the end of Howl Road and tells Father Were what had happened.


Always tell a parent if a Werewolf shows you his penis or tries to touch your butt.


Father Were is proud that Brother Were told him and phoned the police immediately.

The police took a report and began searching for the stranger in Wolftown.


With the ordeal over relief washes over Brother Were as Father tucks him in for a good night sleep.


Brother Were is happy he wasn't raped and murdered and fell asleep easily after only two bedtime stories.


During his healthy breakfast of baby faces and toddler noses Father reads the newspaper aloud, "Stranger, Roary Growlington was shot late last night and is dead. Police attempted to apprehend the suspected stranger when he moved suspiciously and police fired sixty rounds into his face."


The family gasps at the graphic news story and then listen to Father Were's advice.

"Well, even with that pervert in Hell, there could always be danger around the corner. I don't want to scare you but there are bad Werewolves out there that want to steal you. From now on when riding your bike, I want you to have friends with you. No more riding to school alone."


"To be honest father, I think I'm gonna take the bus for a while," Brother Were shares.


Brother and Sister Were skip together to the bus stop ready for a day full of learning, playing, and even a field trip to the human slaughterhouse. Field trips are fun.


The end.



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