• Daniel Hodgson

Douche of the Week 2

It's with great shame that I have to announce myself as the Douche of the Week. This brings me no joy people.

Before I tell you why I deserve this title I need to get the excuses out there as they are valid and I hope you can consider them.

I know this sounds whiny but I have a lot on my mind lately. I'm getting my second book ready for publication, a magazine in the works and a couple of other projects that I can't talk about yet.


Now that I've explained my distracted headspace I feel I can continue to my douchiness.

I was once again getting a coffee from Tim Horton's (the same one as the first Douche of the Week incident) when I was involved in a stalemate. A Canadian standoff. The two-way traffic taking turns into the Drive-Thru lane came to a halt even though there was space to drive up.

The hold up from my inattentiveness came to an end as the opposite vehicle, rightfully so, pulled in ahead of me and into the Drive-Thru even though I was there first, bringing into action a just case of "you snooze you lose."

Me "the snoozer" was in the wrong and I paid for it with my earned turn being taken by the winner of the situation. I accepted it then and I accept it now. The woman driving and her, what looked like daughter, both waved to me in a friendly manner which melted away my anxiety of being the ass holding up traffic.

But this momentary lapse of concentration isn't why I deserve the crown to the kingdom of douchiness, no, the true reason is what happened at the window paying for my order.

Still thinking of my entrance blunder I pulled up to the window with shame in my eyes and embarrassment on my face. But there was no need as the friendly wave should have told me but the friendly mother and daughter went a step further and bought my coffee for me.

This phenomenon has happened to me before at least twice and I specifically remember doing the right thing and paying for my order anyway and passing the savings on to the vehicle behind. Sadly not this time.

As if I had never heard or experienced general decency, I just smiled like an idiot when the Tim Horton's employee told me my coffee was paid for by the prior customer.

The decent thing to have done at this point is to pay the good deed forward and buy the next person a coffee, but "thanks" was all I said as I drove off into a new life as a douche.

The entire drive home I re-lived the interaction over and over and still feel no relief. My only hope is that admitting my douchiness will cleanse me of it like a Catholic confessing their sins.


Sorry for my douche move society, I promise to do better and make things right. The next time I go to Tim Horton's I will pay an extra toonie for the coffee order behind me and thus equalize the balance of the universe and shed the shameful title of Douche of the week.





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